Review: Stud Life

It's what you've all been waiting for, the second lesbilicious movie review of September! This time around we watched Stud Life. Well, actually, Alex watched Stud Life. Taylor watched half of Stud Life and decided it was not for her...

What the blurb told us...
JJ is a lesbian 'Stud' who works as a wedding photographer with her best friend, Seb, a pretty white gay boy. Their clients are wild, weird and wonderful and like many of them JJ and Seb are both looking for love in the wrong places. So when JJ falls in love with the beautiful and mysterious Elle, this long term friendship is tested for the first time as JJ has to choose between her hot new lover and her best friend. JJ's decision to give her relationship a proper chance leaves Seb with a lot of extra time on his hands and he finds himself having to reject the constant flirtatious advances of their local drug dealer, Smack Jack, who turns up when Seb least wants to see him. Jack is sweet hearted and knows all the right people, but his one true love is Seb - he just needs to find a way to make Seb feel the same. Instead Seb is too busy lusting after his web-fantasy, the straight-acting 'lad' known as Manchester Joe, who he found when surfing the web. When JJ and Elle hit hard times and Seb realises Manchester Joe isn't all he is cracked up to be, there is one last decision JJ has to make; does she put mates before muff? Set in East London, Stud Life is a sexy, young and cool gay romance revealing a unique a slice of British urban life.

Alex says:
Oh, Stud Life. It's not a very good movie. I wanted to watch it after seeing it advertised in the back of Diva. I was intrigued by a) the butch/femme couple kissing on the promo pic and b) the tagline: "Did you wake up with your lover or your best friend?" The butch/femme couple kissing was basically the entirety of the movie - I had quite enough of it, thanks! - but I'm still perplexed by the tagline. I actually can't see how it had anything to do with the movie whatsoever.

Stud Life is set in East London, my home for two years and counting. Pretty much everything I've read about the movie raves about that it was set in London but I'm going to guess that's because there isn't much else to rave about. To be honest, the whole of Stud Life is very wishy-washy and not a lot happens. I looked up Diva's review and they didn't seem to have too much to say about it either! I just don't really understand why this movie was made. It follows the inconsequential tale of JJ, a stud who works as a wedding photographer. When we're not watching scenes which are presumably supposed to be comedic where she photographs various couples - a jilted bride, a couple who got married for a visa... lol! - we follow her fledgling romance with a young lady she meets in a club (the club actually did remind me of East London gay clubs...). The aforementioned young lady has the most ridiculously mahoosive collection of DVDs I have ever seen in my life in her living room and is called Elle. Cue lots and lots of references to that it sounds like her name is "L", which stands for, of course, the most famous L Word of them all, but also for other fun L words, like "licking" and "labia", which put together is Elle's favourite activity (no, I'm not being crude. She actually says this). When we're not watching Elle and JJ, we watch a whirlwind gay male romance between JJ's best friend whose name I cannot even remember and the local drug dealer, Smack Jack aka Lord Tristan Peregrin Fancypants McFauntleroy, who is in my Top Five of oddest individuals I have ever seen on a screen. There are also two brief and gratuitous hate crimes. These really aren't addressed.

My other half couldn't make it through this film and I only managed it by being on twitter for a lot of it. I have to conclude that Stud Life is disillusioned. It's Buzz Lightyear thinking he can fly, and I'm afraid I am Woody yelling, "YOU ARE A CHILD'S PLAYTHING." It pushes hard to be "hip" and "with it", even incorporating a weird youtube layout for some scenes, but to be honest, it feels like it was made ten years ago. And it wasn't. It's from 2012. It also clearly thinks it presents a radical new take on life and love, asking profound questions such as, "If you sell sex, is it the same as selling any goods, like this hat or this sausage?" (accompanied by puzzled looking JJ holding said hat and said sausage), and making frankly embarrassingly idiotic statements such as, "So Shakespeare coulda been gay. Big fucking deal. I ain't got time for these famous people who stay in the closet." Oh, Stud Life. Sadly, I don't care about hats and sausages, and I don't have time for you.

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