Long Distance Love: The Pros and Cons

Long distance relationships (LDRs) are often portrayed as THE. WORST. THING. EVER. Upon hearing I’m in one of those dreaded international love things, I am often greeted with, “I’m so sorry” or “Wow, that sucks.” As Alex previously discussed there’s an abundance of negative stigma surrounding long distance. Yet strangely, when people aren’t bashing LDRs, they’re romanticizing about them. All you have to do is log on to Tumblr for a bombardment of gooey-eyed long distance love idealization. But the truth is that long distance relationships aren’t good or bad…they’re both.


Pros:

1) You commit to another person in a way you never knew was possible. When your other half is across the world (or country) there is no room for anything other than complete trust, love and mutual respect. In order for your relationship to work, you must want it more than anything else.

2) You travel around the world! I’ve been to London three times in the past year alone. Not to mention a romantic week in Paris, weekends in the English countryside and a week of sunshine on the Isles of Scilly. Seeing new corners of the world is a pretty awesome perk of international love.

3) You never take the other person for granted. When I’m with Alex every moment is magical because I’m constantly aware that the end of our togetherness is in the not-so-distant future. This means that each small gesture is appreciated—whether it’s making the bed each morning, an unexpected hug or whipping up a delicious dinner. I know what life is like without those small gestures and it makes me appreciate them all the more.

4) Romance thrives. Handwritten love notes are as normal in our relationship as texts are in others. We send cards to one another, buy each other “reunited gifts,” “goodbye gifts,” and never miss an opportunity surprise the other with gorgeous bouquets of flowers. Because long distance means less physical closeness, the romance is kept alive through thousands of surprises, gifts and letters. No one could ever accuse a long-distance couple of romance being dead.

5) You become a stronger person. It takes unbelievable strength, determination and faith to be in a relationship filled with continual goodbyes. It is truly remarkable to believe so strongly in something as elusive and beautiful as love that you are able to briefly bid it farewell.

Reunited at last!


Cons:

1) It’s painful. You’re away from the person you love and life often feels like it has lost its color.

2) Money, money, money. International travel is expensive as f***. Seeing your partner will require much more than a quick text and drive down the street. Chances are that you’ll need a job (or two) and months of saving.

3) Your life is split in two. There’s life with your partner and then there’s life without him/her. Distance requires you to build a life that doesn’t directly involve the person you love. You’re going to have a house you live in, friends you adventure with and countless moments of laughter and sadness that are impossible to include your partner in. Sure, you can recap it. But trust me, it’s not the same.

4) Fighting is amplified. Fighting always sucks, right? But now imagine it without the ability to hug and make-up. Add in an eight hour time difference and you have the perfect breeding ground for potentially epic feuds.

5) It’s hard to live in the moment. You’re watching a beautiful sunset with your favorite friends. Part of you is happy and content, but there’s another part that is heartbroken as you think, “_____ should be here. ______ should be here.” Welcome to the life of long distance. Happiness rarely feels completely pure when the person you love is absent. It’s also hard to not continually fantasize about the beautiful future you’ll share with your other half when long distance is conquered. The present is all we have, but the future can seem much more alluring when you’re separated from your better half.


Verdict:

Sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's awesome as hell. And ultimately, I wouldn't change my LDR for the world.

2 comments:

  1. I have been into online dating for some time. It was weird, but I really felt I was loving for real. xD Well, I don't know but I think i'll be a forever fan of this scenario. Been even collecting long distance relationship quotes . You might be interested to check ok them. thanks and cheers! <3

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